“I’m actually in the lead!” the Red driver crackles over the radio, entering the first turn of the race. He didn’t get to say it again.
It’s a beautiful, sunny day at the track in Monaco, a popular racing destination lately. Indeed, it’s almost as if the fans refuse to watch races anywhere else. There are three teams entering this race, two Yellow drivers under Team Bney, two Red drivers under Team Branduan, and two White drivers under Team Adesazz. One yellow driver takes pole position, the other brings up the rear, and everyone else fills out the middle spots.
And they’re off!
Welcome to the world of Formula D, a 2008 boardgame from Asmodee that emulates the speed of Formula racing. On a recent day, several NWARPG members pitted their skill against one another at Bears at the Maul.
Into Turn 2 and White is in the lead followed by Yellow. Yellow attempts to pass but is cut off, cut off again, cut off a third time! The Yellow car starts making funny gearbox noises as the driver desperately pulls out the stops in trying to take the lead. The remainder of the pack enters Turn 2, with Team Branduan bringing up the rear, er biding its time.
The battle for Loews
Going into the trickiest turn of the race, Loews is a 3-stop corner that proves to be decisive; White is able to gain a gear against the frustrated Yellow and come out of the turn at high speed. The slower Yellow car (3rd) and the faster Red car (4th) are just entering into the turn – and it looks like they’ve collided. Debris on the track, smoke and brake fluid everywhere.
The slower Red car (5th), along with the slower White car (6th), weave in and out of the hazards in a race to the bottom. At this point poor Team Branduan’s rolls are so reliably low that this team is consistently in one higher gear than anyone else.
It’s a drag race out of Loews! The White car is comfortably in the lead as the pack comes up to the rear of the grandstands. On his heels is the Yellow team, neck and neck. Far behind in a cloud of smoke is the other White car and the two Red cars. Reminds me of those cartoons where all you see is a cloud with speech balloons containing punctuation coming out of it, folks.
Looks like lead White is finishing up Lap 1. The Red Team leaves the other White car in the dust, but looks like they’re being awfully hard on their brakes and tires to do it. The Yellow drivers have a mix-up and trade paint – I’m getting worried there may not be many cars left to finish this race.
That’s what pit stops are for! Both Red cars, as well as one Yellow car elect to familiarize themselves with pit stop rules. It seems to work for them, and by the time Lap 2 is underway we find a closely-packed mob, with the exception of the leading White car. Thankfully, the venom and insults coming from the other drivers seems to have no effect on his performance.
"Loews II: The Debris Edition" - We ARE getting the stabilizers for next time, John, I’m feeling sick
Five battered, bruised, angry drivers enter Loews for the 2nd time. Loews II: The Debris Edition. Pieces of car bodies, brakes, engine parts (that looks important…) are flying everywhere. Looks like the first Red driver just brake-checked the rear White car, and the 2ndRed driver rammed him from behind. Are these guys serious?? The rammer has to downshift to avoid the ensuing debris, and it looks like he’s going to have an agonizingly slow ramp-up going into the straight.
We’re going back to the grandstands for one last time – OHH White overcompensates! He got a little too cocky with his lead and overshot the corner! He’s down to some frayed, 2nd-lap tires and the sorry leftovers of an overheated braking system. At the same time RED comes out of the straight HOT! He nails the S-curve and comes into the final series in 2nd place! Followed by the Yellow Team, I mean talk about a Team that plays together, stays together. Followed by who cares. I hope White enjoyed his daunting lead, because 3 drivers are close on his heels and he has no margin for error!
Pictured: The finish line. Not Pictured: Margin for error
It’s a nail-biting series of turns to the finish, and all drivers expertly maneuver through them. White, true to form manages to hold his car together and even widens the gap. Coming into the last turn it’s White by a long margin. Followed by Yellow. Followed by Red – and the second Yellow peeling around the turn after him! They drag race to the finish and in a hail of engine smoke and rev limiters…It’s Yellow by a nose! The driver squeezed 110% out of Bney Engineering there folks.
Oh geez, the last two cars are ambling quietly down the last turn. White’s tires have finally had enough and he spins out! The Team Adesazz chief is over in the pits with his hand over his eyes. Just as all hope is lost, Red spins out! It might just be faster to settle this rivalry with a fistfight… (you remember the whole ramming debacle)… OH NO! White in trying to capitalize makes a miscalculation and spins out AGAIN!! Red putts across the finish line just as White finishes up putting holes in the floorboards so he can run on the track.
Will the champion be able to compensate for the pitiful performance of his teammate?? In a word, no.
FINAL RESULTS – Winner: TEAM BNEY!!!
Team Bney (Yellow)…….…8+6 = 14
Team Adesazz (White)….10 + 3 = 13
Team Branduan (Red)…..4 + 5 = 9
We’re continuing our monthly Game Days at Gamer Utopia on May 19th! Players of RPGs, board games, and war games are all welcome to join us at noon, and we’ll likely be there until the place closes (variable, but at least 9). Newbies and walk-ins welcome!
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